Sunday, January 17, 2010

My thoughts...

Sorry for neglecting my blog lately. Now that I am back to the all so exciting kampung, it’s back to blogging days. Speaking of which, I don’t have anything that I want to blog about. I don’t know, I have so many things stuck inside my head, but I just don’t feel like talking about it right now.

Erm okay I think I should just write something off the top of my head.

I miss Penang. I remember the first time I left for Australia, I cried. I didn’t want to leave because I was terrified of being alone in a new place. I cried because I didn’t want things to change. I was comfortable with how I was and didn’t mind to study at a local University.

After years of coming back and forth, I got used to saying goodbye to family and friends. They got used to me leaving too.

However, things changed this time. I got really emotional when I was about to leave. I got so attached to everyone back home. I was attached before but never this strong. It was strange because this feeling is weird. It’s not like I’ve never done this before. I’ve been doing this for years but why do I feel like shit right now?

Just between you and me (not exactly I know this is a public blog but you know what I mean) I cried like a baby the night before I was leaving and on the day too. I couldn’t hold onto my tears when I hugged my friends. I burst into tears even if I try not to. I was not just teary...I was sobbing.

This time I didn’t cry because I was afraid, but because I truly will miss my friends very very much and I don’t want to leave them. I feel like our friendship changed from good friends to best friends to feeling like a family. We used to talk about anything and everything but this time we talked about more important and serious topics, talked about feelings and emotions, there were no secrets kept unsaid and there was nothing we couldn’t tell each other. I feel special. How many of us have found our soul mates? I am blessed, because I found mine.

There are no words that can quite express my gratitude towards what you guys have given me. Thank you all for the sweet and encouraging words. Thanks for the phone calls (Sorry for crying over phone when we talked) and messages to check if I was doing okay.

I will be strong, I will take good care of myself, I won’t make you worry, I promise. I miss you guys already. I really do. I will see you real soon. Take care all and all the best.
Love you, miss you, my BFFs.