Me

I was told to listen to this song because it reminded her of me when she heard it. When I was listening and reading the lyrics, my heart sank. I thought to myself ‘why would a song like this remind you of me?’ In most of our conversations, she would always tell me to love myself more. Is there something wrong with me? Don’t I love myself enough?  

It does hurt to see you move on with someone you referred as only a friend. You promised nothing was going on and never will be. It hurts to know I was right, you lied. But it is okay. I am not sorry for trusting you. I have given what I was supposed to. 


The truth is, I haven’t moved on. I haven't been trying to. Crazily, I wan to stay in this state for as long as it lets me. Somehow, this is what my heart tells me to do. It just feels right. I need to do this for me. I need time for myself. 

Looking back, I realised I rushed into something too soon. Something I wasn't ready for. I have hoped that it would turn out to be something wonderful. I was wrong. Most importantly, I was already broken when it all started. I never knew how to love myself properly, or the people around me for that matter. 

This time round, I will do what I should have done. No more running from the past, no more diverting my attention to someone or something new. I will learn to heal what is broken, no matter how long it takes. I will dig deep to find who I really am or who I could be.  I want to be truly happy, even it is just by myself.  

I am in no rush to fall in love again. When that special moment arrives, I want it to begin for all the right reasons. A quote I really love - 'Never rush into love because even in fairytales the happy ending takes place only on the last page'.

p/s: I never meant to lead anybody on. I have said I only wanted friendship. If you feel that way, I apologize. Now you know how I truly feel. I need a friend more than anything right now. I would be grateful if you would remain my friend. 

p/p/s: I know I have said this many times, but what would I do without you. Thanks for being there for me and making me feel loved when everything is against me. I love you and thank you, all of you.